My KBOP Monday: Why Black Men and Asian Women Click

The topic of Blasian couples has become more and more popular over the last few years.  As more and more people have access to a steady internet flow, it becomes clearer and clearer that Black and Asian couples are very common.  It’s plain to see that Hollywood doesn’t always portray the truth, but platforms like YouTube, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter allow you to interact with these couples directly.  The truth is there have been a lot of Blasian couples who have had successful marriages over the years.  In fact, many have said that Blasian couples tend to stay together longer.  But why do Black men and Asian women seem to click and stay connected for such a long time?  Here are a few reasons why, as always, from My KBOP.

No Pressure Over Skin Color

In some Asian cultures, lighter skin is considered to be more desirable than darker skin.  Part of this is due to the feeling that richer people would stay indoors and therefore had lighter skin than poorer people who had to be outside and have darker skin.  As a result, some Asian I’ve talked to have said that they don’t find Asian women with medium and darker skin to be attractive.  One Korean man once told me that he would only consider marrying an Asian woman with really light skin.  This has caused some women to take beauty products and go through procedures to make their skin color as light as possible to make them more “beautiful”. However, many Asian women who are open to dating and marrying Black men have found that they don’t pressure them over skin color.  No matter if they have light, medium or a darker skin color, the Black men that they are friends with, date and or marry love them and think they are beautiful.  No skin bleaching required.

No Pressure Over Weight 

Health is a major concern in many countries, but Asian countries can take things to an extreme.  I’ve seen some Korean American women who have lamented the fact that they are not a size 0 like their friends are.  Some have admitted that as teens, they were called fat and overweight by older Asians, or even told that they would never get a good looking man unless they lose some weight.  These kind of words can have a devastating effect on the self esteem of a young woman, or anyone for that matter.  However, many Asian women that I’ve talked to in Blasian relationships have said they don’t feel pressure to be a certain size or to have a certain shape.  This causes them to have more peace of mind and contentment.  Instead of feeling like they must work hard to change their body type, they know that their man will love and accept them as they are.  That’s how love and a marriage is supposed to be.

No Pressure To Give Up Their Culture

This can be a MAJOR sticking point in a relationship.  And this can be a reason why so many Asian women in Blasian relationships are very happy.  In areas of Asia where it is common to tell women to avoid Black men like the plague, a number of reports of women being told to give up their culture and language are staggering.  It’s as if Asian women are expected to morph into “Model Minorities” at the time of marriage.  From My KBOP, I’ve seen a lot of unhappy Korean women who have been told by their husbands that they must quit speaking Korean,  not to have Korean friends, not to go to Korean religious services, not eat Korean food, not to teach their kid(s) anything Korean, not to watch Korean news and to not listen to Korean music.  Of these women, none of them were married to a Black man.  The Korean women, and other Asian women, that have married Black men that I have ran across have been able to hold onto their cultural identity in all aspects, thus making them happy women.  Black men that marry Asian women tend to adapt to their wife’s culture and accept it easily.  This usually results in a happy and long lasting marriage.

Does this mean that this is true in every situation?  No.  Some Blasian couples do get divorced, and some Black men do not treat their Asian wife very well.  But many of the BMAW relationships that I have encountered, whether they involve the wife being Korean or not, tend to only end when one of the spouses died.  While it may seem like Black men and Asian women won’t prefer each other and don’t have a lot in common,  this is not true.  Once you get to know someone better, you begin to realize that you do have a lot in common and that love is possible.  Sometimes you can explain it, sometimes  you can’t.  But this is just the tip of the iceberg as to why Black men and Asian women sometimes just naturally click.   At least from My KBOP.

My KBOP Monday: Why Can’t I Get An Asian?

For a long time now, Asian cultures has been something people have been fascinated with.  While some are into Asian cultures for the beauty and tradition, others are in it for other reasons.  One of the  most annoying things I think I would see online would be people, mainly men, complaining about how they “can’t get an Asian” to be with them.  There’s nothing wrong with having a preference and being honest enough to not waste other people’s time in a relationship you’d rather not be in.  But often times, this notion comes across as very rude and offensive.  So after talking to a lot of Asian women on this subject, here is why this comes across as backwards and offensive.

Do You Know What You Are Saying?

For those who don’t know, Asia is a very large area with a very large population.  Almost 60% of the people living on earth live in Asia.  The land mass of Asia goes from the Middle East all the way to Russia.  There are also numerous island nations as well. Bottom line is most of us with a passport don’t have a clue what you mean when you say that you want an Asian.  And honestly, we wonder if you know what you mean as well.

Why Do You Feel This Way?

The reasons why some people say they want an Asian can border on perverted to ridiculous.  I’ve heard things ranging from how submissive Asian women are to how rich Asian men are to Asian people have good genes and can fight.  Love seems to have very little to do with anything.  If you were a man or woman who had people want to be with you for all the wrong reasons, you will become very sensitive to things like this.  So the question is, if you have sincere motives, how do you set yourself apart from the people who don’t?

Learn a Language and About a Culture

Since Asia is such a broad continent, narrowing things down to a specific country, language or culture may be best.  Asian people are not the “model minorities” that some claim they are.  Showing respect for someone’s culture and how they were raised is very important.  Also, showing that you will try to communicate with their family in the language that they feel comfortable with can be a big plus.  Usually a person who has a superficial or perverted reasoning for wanting someone will not take the time to study all of this.  Knowing more about a culture will prepare you for some of the trials you may face in a relationship.

Be a Friend Before Anything Else

Being someone’s true friend and caring for them goes a long way when looking for love.  The best love stories are made up of two people who are best friends.  Learn to care for a person for the right reasons and love will follow.

Remember That Asian People Are People

From My KBOP, there are a lot of similarities between different Asian cultures and the culture I grew up around.  The reason?  Because we are all just people at the end of the day.  Treat people with respect, and you will be shown respect.  Don’t lie about who you are and what you are.  Treat an Asian woman like you would any other woman, and an Asian man like you would any other man.  You’ll likely get a better response if you do things this way.

The people in the Asian community are truly wonderful and beautiful inside and out.  There’s nothing wrong, strange or abnormal about being an non Asian that wants to date/marry an Asian person.  But just remember to keep things respectful.  If you do, you may just find the love of a lifetime.